We wish we had known that international adoptees were not able to access state assistance for medical or psychiatric needs.
Since finalizing our adoption (around $40,000), we have paid out of pocket for approximately $80,000 in support services. This has included play therapy, occupational therapy, talk therapy, couples therapy, neurofeedback therapy, psychiatric medical management, acute hospitalizations, intensive outpatient programs, residential programs, and other medical interventions. We were quoted $20,000 per month by multiple therapeutic boarding schools in the United States, but our daughter was rejected from each of these schools for different reasons.
When we have been able to access support, it has come from finding other parents in similar situations dealing with complex diagnoses and attachment disorders. We were denied state assistance for medically complex children, and don't qualify for Medicaid. The post-adoption grants we were able to find were explicitly focused on physical health expenses, not psychiatric or emotional health expenses, although our daughter's psychiatric health was truly life-threatening.
Our church community was willing to financially support us at the individual level as we fundraised for our adoption while living overseas in ministry roles. We returned to the USA because our adopted daughter was quickly in a psychiatric crisis, and we needed access to more robust support services. We felt we had no choice but to leave our church home because of the challenges our daughter faced in the corporate worship setting, and felt we were not safe to share the struggles she had with believers who would understand our daily efforts to keep her alive and healthy. We formed a house church that became our safe place, and this small group of believers carried us through several years of hospitalizations and safety planning.
